The wedding is over; the balloons have all popped, and the champagne has gone dry. Are you prepared to embrace your life as a married individual? Some of us may think that marriage is all about the glamour of the wedding. But the expensive engagement rings, fancy bridal showers, and crazy bachelor’s party are all merely material aspects. Marriage begins after the celebration, and you’re stuck with the person you said “I do” to for the rest of your life. As the sun rises and you both get over your episode of manic partying, what’s next?
Marriage is a challenging milestone. It’s not all about the lovey-dovey Instagram posts. What matters is the respect, understanding, and actionable effort to keep the marriage intact. This may be difficult during the first year, as many married couples believe it to be the ultimate test of compatibility between two individuals.
If you want to pass it with flying colors, here are a few tips and tricks that could help:
Embrace the Fact That from This Moment On, You’re a Team
Marriage is a permanent union of two individuals. To ease the burdens of life, you and your partner must both carry the load. Accept the fact that from the moment you said your vows, you both now move as one.
Since married life isn’t all about butterflies and roses, this early point is the perfect time to discuss how you can work as a team. How will you decide things? What’s the mechanism going to be? If there are conflicts of interest, what’s going to be the tiebreaker? Conflicts are twice as hard when you are married. To prevent inflicting emotional pain, now’s the time to decide how you will resolve it.
Develop a Communication Style
Speaking of resolving conflicts, you can never agree on one thing without talking it out. Since communication is vital, your marriage’s early days are an excellent avenue for understanding how each side communicates.
For example, you could be the frank type, while your partner shies away from confrontation and would rather let things cool down before tackling it. Such a communication difference can put a dent in your relationship.
Discuss how you’re going to communicate with your partner. Do you both need a specific time for discussion? Or can you talk about a particular issue right away? Decide on this, as this will help you in the long run.
Don’t Forget to Tackle Money Matters
Did you know that one of the many marriage killers out there is money concerns? Different people have varying values with money. Some people are thrifty. Others would spend as much as they’d like if it’s for their loved ones’ happiness. Be careful when discussing money matters. Above all, respect your partner’s values for spending, budgeting, and saving. You wouldn’t want your differences to cause any friction.
The best course of action is to communicate and understand which options would be the best for both of you. If you both can’t seem to figure it out, seeking the help of a professional who can understand your reasons and evaluate your financial capacity is a good decision.
Moving in Together
You both have to pick a home and move in together after the grand celebration. You could opt to buy one that is brand-new if you have the funds for it, or go for a pre-owned home for bigger savings. For those of you who are good at budgeting your cash, home loans may be an even better option.
Regardless of how you acquire your new house, make it a point to turn your home into a sanctity of love, rest, and respect. Also, don’t forget to establish house rules. Minor disagreements stemming from who left the toilet seat up can grow into anger and conflict later on. As you discuss house rules, don’t forget to compromise. Keep in mind that compromise is the key to a happy and long-lasting marriage.
Talk About Family and Child-rearing Responsibilities
We can never tell when an angel will walk into your life and turn it upside down. Since both of you are married, it will always be a possibility. Now’s the time to discuss how to share responsibilities at home and work when pregnancy is about to happen.
It would be best to discuss how many children you would like to have and what preparations you are both willing to take to accommodate child-rearing. Don’t forget to talk to your family physician and communicate your plans for a healthy and happy family.
Plan Romantic Dates and Intimate Time
It’s easy to forget the romantic side of life when you get married. With the responsibilities of work, taking care of your partner, and other obligations, partners can get too preoccupied for intimate time. To avoid complacency, plan out dates. Don’t forget to dress up nicely, as if you were meeting each other for the first time.
One glorious thing about marriages is that each one is different. The unique dynamics each partner brings will come into play, so you would know best on what would make your union happy. The start of your marriage is a phase of discovery and dipping into the unknown. Always remember that you are teaming up to solve an issue together, not against one another. Respect when communicating is essential to keep both sides happy and the team united.
Congratulations! Hold on to each other tight; it’s going to be a wild ride!
